Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
