so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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