Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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