K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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