if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
