I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
