Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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