What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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