Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
