ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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