In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
