The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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