hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The struggles of a small town man whore
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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