ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
vagina is talking i cant
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
