i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
