The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
