He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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