dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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