Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
