I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
