Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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