Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Found the puke drawer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
