I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
