: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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