it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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