Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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