Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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