people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
