Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
