she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
