"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
