The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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