We're like a lot better than the average bears
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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