My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
