she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
