Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
