Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
