would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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