she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
