I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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