i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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