some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
