You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
