Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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