He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
