We're facebook friends in real life
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We have started to decorate penises.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
