why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
