this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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