Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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