My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
