What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
