you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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