dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
